OUTDATED ADVICE?

We should all submit to each other and be grateful that Christ made the ultimate submission (21). Paul only uses the verb once, so the sentence about wives is part of the wider context of Christian relationships. But it does say submit (Greek, hypotasso, meaning submit, obey)! Conservative readers say that if husbands led families there would be less divorce and social disorder. Liberals say that these texts are used to justify abuse of women and children. Moderates suggest that an authority structure is necessary in the family but using these verses to condone male supremacy abuses Scripture. These words were written when marriages were arranged, most women were illiterate, and few had independent income. It is presumptuous that, 2,000 years later, we think we know more than they did about what was good and godly in first-century Christian families. Today, women are well educated, earn income, choose whom to marry, and access contraception. Godly advice needs to be different for modern families where responsibilities are shared according to the partners’ different gifts and expertise.

What about the husbands? After 2,000 years have we men also moved beyond this ‘outdated advice’? Do we no longer need to love our wives as Christ loved the church? Now that women are more independent, do we no longer need to give ourselves up for them (25)? Am I free at last to put my needs ahead of my wife’s and concentrate on cultivating myself? Deep within me, I know the answer. We men must still put the needs of our wives ahead of our own, trying and too often failing to be Christ-like for them. For me, that includes not telling the women in my life, whom I love and respect, how they should interpret this text. But I can keep my own vow.

‘I … take thee … to my wedded wife, … for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part’ (Solemnization of Matrimony, Book of Common Prayer).