Not Knowing Your Strength

From this moment the supportive group around Jesus began to shrink. Judas left first, although we are not told when he slipped away. Eventually Jesus would be completely alone. At this point his remaining disciples don’t know their own strength, or rather their lack of it. Peter was a true leader, the first to speak as they all affirm their willingness to die with Jesus—but their actions would soon show their intentions to be hollow. Peter’s self- confidence did not survive pressure. His sincere bravado was insufficient—it would not last the night. Jesus had no illusions about his closest followers: one would betray; all would desert—but, confident in his mission from the Father, he sees what they will be in him, beyond their failure. The passion narratives also reveal the Scriptures that informed Jesus’ understanding of his mission. His entry into Jerusalem echoed Zechariah 9:9, and his friends’ desertion is seen in Zechariah 13:7. He knows he is the Shepherd King who will be struck down and have his flock scattered, but he will then lead them again: “After I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee” (28). Jesus has no illusions about us either. Our effectiveness as Christian disciples is not dependent on our capacity for faithfulness but on his faithfulness to us. Good intentions are not enough. He sees us exactly as we really are, but he also sees beyond each self-deception and failure. He sees what we will be because of his death and resurrection, and we also may be confident that he goes ahead of us. Christian discipleship is a paradox. It requires faithfulness—Jesus expects us to be faithful—but faithfulness is trusting in his capacity in us, not in our capacity to serve him.

Jesus wants to show you yourself, little by little, but always with hope. How willing are you to allow him to do so, as frightening as the prospect might be?