Functional Families

In Proverbs parents are important life-coaches. Strong echoes of Deuteronomy 6:6-8 and 11:18-19 in verses 21 and 22 show that the parents here are seeking to fulfill their responsibility to teach God’s law to their child. It is therefore appropriate that what is said of the parents’ teaching in verse 23 echoes what Psalm 119:105 says of God’s Word. It is a clear theme throughout the Bible that when parents accept and fulfill this responsibility to bring their children up “in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4) the family forms a firm basis for a stable society. In a world in which there is increasing evidence of dysfunctional families there is a particular need for Christian parents to rise to the challenge of building functional families. To do this they must give godly life-coaching to their children.

Of course, children have to play a part in creating a functional family, too. In applying the message of Proverbs it must be recognized that it is not saying that all children should listen unquestioningly to their parents. The parents in Proverbs are an ideal couple. They are wise, godly parents. To the extent that real parents are wise and godly, they deserve to be listened to, but all real parents are fallible to some degree and therefore open to having their teaching and advice questioned. However, this should be done in a way that is consonant with the command to honor our parents (Deut. 5:16).

The teaching here is another warning against adultery. Faithfulness in marriage is important in producing a functional family. Underlying this lesson is its recognition of the need for discipline (23b) with regard to “lust” (25a). James warns of the role that “desire” can play in leading to sinful actions (Jas. 1:13-15). Jesus radicalizes this message in Matthew 5:27-30.

You may not be a parent, but you are a child. You may not be married, but you are a family member. So, what part can you play in creating a functional family?