Dysfunctional Family
Opening Prayer
I thank You, Lord, that Your freedom reaches into every challenging situation, every troubled relationship and everything that entangles us.
Read GENESIS 29:14b–30
14 Then Laban said to him, “You are my own flesh and blood.”
Jacob Marries Leah and Rachel
After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, 15 Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.”
16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. 18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”
19 Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” 20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.
21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.”
22 So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. 23 But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her. 24 And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant.
25 When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”
26 Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. 27 Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”
28 And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. 29 Laban gave his servant Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her attendant. 30 Jacob made love to Rachel also, and his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.
Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Reflect
“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).
This tale of manipulation and deceit easily matches Jacob’s past exploits, but this time he was on the receiving end. Laban successfully trapped him to work for him seven more years than he’d intended. However, Jacob, deceiver by name (Gen. 25:26; 27:36), driven by his deep love for Rachel (20) was unable to do much about it at that stage. At first it had looked as if Jacob’s journey was following the course that his mother Rebekah had originally anticipated (27:44). It’s therefore not surprising that this, along with getting such a good “price” for Rachel and his deep love for her, made the first seven years of working for Laban seem like “only a few days” (20). However, with the discovery of Laban’s trick, seven more years are added and Jacob’s—and Rebekah’s—plans begin to unravel.
This is a story with consequences, not just for Jacob but for Leah, poignantly expressed in the phrase “he loved Rachel more than Leah” (30, NRSV). Later we see some of the heartbreak expressed in Leah’s naming of her sons and the ensuing nature of family relationships. The heady mix of passion, selfishness and exploitation of family members for one’s own ends could be a contemporary Soap opera plot or focus of a show where individuals confront family members in front of a live audience. A different culture and century—but messed-up family life is portrayed here in all its rawness!
Despite this, the story reveals that God, not Laban or Jacob, had the last word. The despised Leah was exalted to become the mother of the priestly and kingly tribes of Levi and Judah. For those of us who have experienced damaging family relationships, God is present—and because of this there really is hope…
Apply
With the Holy Spirit’s help, reflect on your own family and friendship relationships. Is there anything you can do to strengthen them, to ensure that they’re more life-giving?
Closing prayer
Lord, I lift up to You my relationships, particularly my family. Strengthen those relationships that are weak and heal those that are broken.
Click here to sign up to receive the EXTRAs via email each quarter.
© 2024 Scripture Union U.S.A. All rights reserved. Reproduction of the whole or any part of the contents without written permission is prohibited.
Encounter with God is published in the USA under license from Scripture Union England and Wales, Trinity House, Opal Court, Opal Drive, Fox Milne, Milton Keynes, MK15 0DF.