‘I AM NOT’
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Opening Prayer
As I open my Bible today, Lord Jesus, challenge me by the things it says. Show me through your words and actions how to live in the light of the gospel’s truth.
Read JOHN 18:15–27
For additional translations of the passage, use this link to Bible Gateway.
Peter’s First Denial
15 Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus. Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest’s courtyard, 16 but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant girl on duty there and brought Peter in.
17 “You aren’t one of this man’s disciples too, are you?” she asked Peter.
He replied, “I am not.”
18 It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also was standing with them, warming himself.
The High Priest Questions Jesus
19 Meanwhile, the high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and his teaching.
20 “I have spoken openly to the world,” Jesus replied. “I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. 21 Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.”
22 When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby slapped him in the face. “Is this the way you answer the high priest?” he demanded.
23 “If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?” 24 Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.
Peter’s Second and Third Denials
25 Meanwhile, Simon Peter was still standing there warming himself. So they asked him, “You aren’t one of his disciples too, are you?”
He denied it, saying, “I am not.”
26 One of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, “Didn’t I see you with him in the garden?” 27 Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow.
New International Version (NIV)Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Reflect
Are you a “closet” Christian?Divine deliverance bound, and heaven’s High Priest interrogated by his human counterpart—this is the scene John now sets before us (v .15). How did Peter and John (‘another disciple’, v, 15, most likely one of several third person self-identifications by the gospel’s author) feel following Jesus into the official residence of the religious patriarchy? The scene includes the fierce, perhaps older, fisherman kept outside until his well-connected friend could persuade a servant girl to let him in … the Master who had led them, now following his arresters … and the hostile bustle of the high priest’s cold, night-covered courtyard. Putting ourselves in Peter’s place, perhaps we can glimpse something of the passionate loyalty and guilt-ridden panic (v. 26) that surge and swell around his three denials.
Sandwiching Jesus’ Jewish trial between Peter’s testing (Luke 22:31–34), John contrasts Jesus’ openness with Peter’s hiding, Jesus’ truth-telling with Peter’s lies. The latter’s ‘I am not’ rebuttals (vv. 17, 25) stand in stark, sad relief against the two ‘I am’ affirmations we heard from Jesus yesterday. Not only is Peter denying his relationship with Jesus, he is also hiding something of who he is. Who he is, who we are, who we say he is, and who he says we are—these are deeply interconnected truths. Discipleship is decision and relationship, but it is also identity.
Apply
Listen to ‘Who You Say I Am’ by Hillsong Worship,* and/or pray through its lyrics.
Closing prayer
Lord God, thank you for all you have made and called me to be. Forgive me when I hide your work in me and please lead me into its fullness.
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